This technique is the First Stage which consists of quickly pulling out all the negative characteristics of all the relevant family members, 

who have had a long term negative effect on you.

So, get a large piece of paper and write down all the main players in your family who had a bad effect on you and their negative traits. 

E.g. you may have had a Father who was Critical, Verbally abusive, full of himself, and Selfish etc.

Write it all down in a long list.

Then think of what effect each of these characteristics had on you.

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For example a Controlling Father may have made you feel unable to be yourself.

An Emotionally Suffocating Mother may have made you feel unable to trust her with your emotions so therefore wanting distance from her.

 

The Brainstorming Technique 

 

FATHER

Controlling
Be-littleing

Critical / Fault finding

Workaholic

Lacking affection

 

 

MOTHER

Emotionally Suffocating

Doubtful

Indecisive

Contrary

Over emotional

Dismissive

 

 

AUNTY

Controlling

Hot Tempered

Attention seeking

Grandiose / Superior

Difficult to please

 

 

GRANDMOTHER

Critical 

Harsh

Body Critical